He was horrible, he ruined me and he made me scared and killed a big part of me. But, you. You knew what he did, you told me you despised him, you told me you’d never want to hurt me because I was the most precious thing to you and I didn’t deserve it, you told me you wanted to make up for all of his mistakes and make me believe in love again. You told me you wanted to be my last. I believed you, I really still fucking do believe you and I’m hoping you don’t let me down again. But-
If I let them in far enough, they’ll fucking break me.
That’s what I’ve learnt from the past four years of my life.
I wake up every morning and it’s the same thing- I tell myself to be happy, because you like happy me. I go through the day being fine, but then night comes and I’m alone and the thoughts cross my mind and I have to make a conscious effort to stop thinking about it because they make me sad, and I can’t be sad. You don’t like sad.
“ya’all smoke to enjoy it, i smoke to die.”